New Leg of the Journey

 I had this moment when we left the hospital with Emma after she was born.  We put her in her car seat and the nurse rolled us down to the exit.  THEY LET US LEAVE!  They just gave us our baby and let us leave.  It was a moment of underlying panic as I realized we were on our own here.  We were taking home this precious gift that God had given us and no one was going to stop us and make sure we had a good plan, or adequate training... NOTHING, just a see you later.

I had a similar experience this week as we left our Abigail in CO for her to finish college there.  We just left her there, not knowing if she is totally prepared to be there or how things will go.  I had 18 amazing years with this precious gift and then she went to college 1 hour away and we still could be there when she needed us and now, 10 hours away, our baby gift is out there in the big world on her own.

I know she is smart, beautiful, amazingly creative and so very capable of this move, but I am her Mamma.  I also know that God is in control and that He has her in His hands.

So I have begun another leg of my journey with Jesus Christ and living in the grace only He can provide.  We have brought both of our girls up to love the Lord and now we have to completely trust them to the Lord.  It is so difficult to relinquish our control (not that we really had any control in the first place).

I will pray, putting on the full armor of God, and fight each day for my girls.  I will thank the Lord for this moment even when my heart feels heavy and broken.  I will say I believe, help now my unbelief.