New Leg of the Journey

 I had this moment when we left the hospital with Emma after she was born.  We put her in her car seat and the nurse rolled us down to the exit.  THEY LET US LEAVE!  They just gave us our baby and let us leave.  It was a moment of underlying panic as I realized we were on our own here.  We were taking home this precious gift that God had given us and no one was going to stop us and make sure we had a good plan, or adequate training... NOTHING, just a see you later.

I had a similar experience this week as we left our Abigail in CO for her to finish college there.  We just left her there, not knowing if she is totally prepared to be there or how things will go.  I had 18 amazing years with this precious gift and then she went to college 1 hour away and we still could be there when she needed us and now, 10 hours away, our baby gift is out there in the big world on her own.

I know she is smart, beautiful, amazingly creative and so very capable of this move, but I am her Mamma.  I also know that God is in control and that He has her in His hands.

So I have begun another leg of my journey with Jesus Christ and living in the grace only He can provide.  We have brought both of our girls up to love the Lord and now we have to completely trust them to the Lord.  It is so difficult to relinquish our control (not that we really had any control in the first place).

I will pray, putting on the full armor of God, and fight each day for my girls.  I will thank the Lord for this moment even when my heart feels heavy and broken.  I will say I believe, help now my unbelief.

You still reign and You're still God

When all foundations have been shaken,
When I'm left standing in the dark,
and all I feel is my heart breaking,
You still reign and You're still God.

And when it feels all hope is fading,
the heavy questions hit so hard,
and though my soul may feel forsaken,
You still reign and You're still God.

Though I can't see what's before me,
I know that I can trust your heart,
and this one truth will be my story,
You still reign and You're still God.

I will declare that you are with me,
though voices whisper that your not,
you'll never leave me or forsake me,
cause you still reign and your still God.

Though I can't see what's before me,
I know that I can trust your heart,
and this one truth will be my story,
that You still reign and You're still God.

Though I can't see what's before me,
I know that I can trust You're heart,
and this one truth will be my story,
that You still reign and You're still God.

I know You reign and You're Still God!

And when my enemy surround me,
I'll trust the victory of your cross,
and fix my eyes upon you Jesus,
for you are God and I am not.

You are good and You are faithful,
As You have been from the start,
You're working all things for Your Glory,
Cause you still reign and You're still God

And this one truth will be my story
That You still reign and You're still God
Yes this one truth will be my story
You still reign and You're still God

And though I can't see what's before me,
I know that I can trust your heart,
and this one truth will be my story,
that You still reign and You're still God

by Philippa Hanna

What happens in the struggles that we don't talk about?  The ones that are distasteful or awkward.  Perhaps they are are embarrassing or just down right painful.  What then?  

As we have been wading though this time in our family that seems overwhelming and painful  I am just remind and He still reigns and He is still God.

I don't know how many songs and verses that God has brought to mind order the span of my lifetime.  But the bible says His word does not come back void and that it will be recalled to you when you need it.  And so, He has been good and faithful and I am, daily, learning to trust Him in each moment.

Ecclesiastes says He can turn a heart of stone to a heart of flesh.  Do you hear that?  A hard, stubborn, heart of stone... He can make it flesh.  He is working all things for His glory.  Even the things I don't see, in ways I can't comprehend, for His Glory that I can not fathom.

Lord Jesus, thank you for using life to sanctify me, even when it is painful and seems so far beyond saving.  I am so very thankful that You still reign and You're still God! For YOU ARE GOD and I am not!

The moments you thought might never happen.... God is Good

 The wedding of our oldest daughter has come and gone.  Over the last 8 years there were many times when I didn't even know if we were going to be part of this day.  I wondered if we would make it through all of the crazy of teen years and raw defiance.

I have said many times while raising my daughters in their teen years,  that God gives us teenagers to grow our prayer life.

We really have two choices when we hit these rock bottom times in our lives.  We either trust that God is who He says He says He is and will do what He says He will do, or we don't.  

I am so grateful for a loving God who is faithful even in our unfaithfulness.  He has brought us through this time where we cried and failed and whined and lost all faith.  He was faithful.  He continued to hold us in His never changing ever loving hands, however often disciplining hands (because He disciplines those he loves).  

As we move forward I pray that I will continue to trust in the Lord for each situation.  I have seen Him work and have  no reason not to leave my life totally in His hands.  Not only has God given me the gift of salvation, He has supplied for my daily sanctification as we have moved through this life we are living here on earth.

Thank you Lord!