Red Ribbon Performance

As parents we talk about the different things that we do to build character in our children.

We are in a time where parents are allowing their children to receive participation ribbons and trophies for just being there and trying to do something and even if they fail we celebrate them as a winner.  Now don't get me wrong, I believe there is a time and an age group where children are learning and are not judged on their performance.

Our children do 4-H.  This is a great program.  The kids under 9 are clover buds and they do projects and interviews but are not judged on their performance.  They are given critique on their performance but are allowed to get lots of help and lots of support to learn the process of doing projects, doing interviews, and so on.

And then they become juniors, they begin to do more and more on their own and there is  still a level of assistance because we are talking about small kids working with large animals.  At this point they are still being judged but it is at an appropriate level.  When they turn 15 they are then part of the Senior class group.  Again, more rules and expectations, but no participation ribbons, they are judged on their performance.

The 4-H program is a unique program.  Although is it for kids and run by kids it requires a certain amount of adult participation for the kids to be successful.

We are talking about large animals and so there are times when a horse, no matter how much work you put in, will act like a horse, a cow, will act like a cow, and so on.

So, let me tell you about Abigail and her red ribbon performance.

This girl logged many hours with her steer.  She fed it, walked it, petted it, and so on.  It has been a long program because this steer, as we began to figure out through the process, had some fear issues and would act up in an unfamiliar situation, which is what fair is all about.

Abigail received a red ribbon in steer showmanship.  She did everything right, she put in the work ahead of time, she smiled, she answered the questions... and then her steer acted like a steer.

What her steer did was not what this is about, it is about how Abigail reacted to what the steer did.

This picture of her showing her steer with a smile on her face, this is a picture taken after her steer drug her across the arena.  After this picture was taken he did it again... and again... and again.  Every time she tried to move him or change something he was off on a jumping running spree.

She smiled and laughed as she talked about it, she kept a good attitude, she kept a smile on her face.  It was red ribbon performance, the judge was correct, but everything gained and built in her character and her perseverance was worth every single moment.

Changing Roles

I can still remember some of the best advice my oldest sister ever gave me.  I was raising my first baby and spending each month mourning the loss of the last month and so sad that my baby was getting older and growing and changing.

She told me that I needed to start being in the moment and enjoying each stage instead of being sad that things are changing and moving forward.


And so began the journey of raising our babies...


In the beginning we are 100% of what helps are babies to survive. You feed them, you change them, you are their everything and they are so dependent on you.


Each moment is about your child moving away from you, growing, changing and we as parents are in a constant state of letting go.  Our job as parents is to grow our children so that they are able to successfully leave us.  Seems sad, but it is not... It is a very daunting, difficult, and rewarding opportunity. 

As I have gone through this journey and I have watched these girls grow and change.  We have done all that we can to raise them to be young women who put the Lord first in their lives.  We do all that we can to make them responsible and successful humans.  We do everything and anything that we can to support and love them... and then we step away.  We allow them to fall, we are there to love them and support them but we allow them to struggle, learn and grow.  We remember what we are given these amazing gifts of starter people that God has allowed us to love and care for.

Our role as a parent changes with each stage of life.  Embrace it!  Give God your heart and allow Him to work through you as your parent your children.