When there is Joy in the sadness

The bible talks about the Joy.  The Joy of the Lord is my strength.  My the God of hope fill you with Joy and peace as you trust in Him.  It goes on and on.  The word Joy is used about 165 times in the bible.

So what is this Joy?

I have seen 3 teenagers I know personally buried in the last 6 months.  Last Friday we went to the funeral of Luke Gonsioroski.  There was over 1000 people in attendance.

Let me share with you a little bit about what I saw at this funeral.

I saw kids and adults file into a football stadium ready to honor the life of an 18 year old man who was an outstanding athlete.  I saw farmers and ranchers from the area there to support of their own who had lost a child.  I came into a place full of tears, sadness and loss.

During the week between Monday when he passed away and Friday when they buried him I read post after post on facebook about what a great kid he was and how very talented he was.  They talked about his fight with cancer and his great attitude.  They said what they would miss and how much it would affect the community.  His faith was mentioned over and over, but it was just part of the story.

Now, let me share with you what I heard at the this funeral.

We parked about 2 blocks away, we were there early because we figured there would be lots of people.  As we began to walk toward the football field we began to hear the music.  Each song told a story, not about family and life but about Jesus Christ.  Every bit of music was picked to tell a piece of the gospel message and describe a life lived for the Lord.

Although they mentioned the person who Luke was, the athlete, the ranchers son, the student, the cancer patient, the fighter, what we heard over and over was about his love for the Lord and his desire to bring others to Jesus.  Luke's testimony was given brilliantly to over 1000 people.

That brings me to Joy.  Please be clear that Joy is not happiness.  I was not happy at the funeral, but there was the presence of clear and resounding JOY.   Nehemiah 8:10  Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord if your strength.  Luke knew and stated often that he was in God's hands.  He knew were he was going and in whom he trusted his life and his death.  He also knew the importance of sharing the salvation message with others and it was very evident in the funeral service for this young man.

James 1:2-3
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

LIke the paper in a book

I am forever forgetting names.  When my kids went to school I volunteered in their classrooms. Paige came out one day and read with me.  I could never remember her mothers name. I knew it was something different, but had to ask her to remind me.  She said, "Her name is Azure, like the color, and my name is Paige, like the paper in a book."

Each memory seems so sweet and so sad all at the same time.  Today they put a cross out of the Hwy where sweet Paige had her car accident.

I feel so very fortunate to have had the chance to know Paige and my heart aches when I think of how very alive she was just a short time ago.  Her smile and laugh were so infectious.

You know how deep you love someone by the depth of the sadness when they are gone. 

Every Single Day

The thing I am reminded of is that every day is not your best day.

I take a LOT of pictures.  For the year 2016 I was well over 24,000 for the year (actually closer to 25,000).  For me, it is trying to catch every moment knowing that n the end I will get maybe 200 pictures that are "print quality".  However, in these thousands of pictures I have some very unforgettable moments.



It is like our days, not every one is or best day.  We keep pressing forward, we keep going on, and we end up with some unforgettable moments.  Notice that I didn't say amazing, or breathtaking, which some of them might be, but I said unforgettable.  Moments change our lives and they are not always good moments but that does not mean that God is not changing our lives for good!

The problem is that if we don't take the good with the bad then we will miss so much of the good.  Getting to the good sometimes take some bad but in the end it is all worth it.

And so, I will continue on this journey, collecting my thousands of unforgettable moments and remembering that there are always those perfect moments that are threaded through our lives that we just have to be smart enough to capture.

Not bad, but not good

I am have been thinking about life.  Mostly I have been thinking about being complacent in life.  Living life and doing things just good enough.

I sometime joke about all the things is my life that are not bad enough to be bad but not really good either.  I am over weight, but not enough to be on biggest looser.  I have financial issues that I can fix, but we are not in enough debt that we need a debt counselor.  It is like all of these things in my life are "ok" and so we just continue on. 

I guess what I am asking is.. is NOT BAD good enough?

We push our girls to do the right thing, represent us well, and so on.  I think about my relations ship with the Lord and I believe that I am viewing it the same way as the rest of my life... "not bad".

So I have decided not bad is NOT good enough. 

The scary part of this sort of decision is that any decision constitutes CHANGE.  That word can set your whole world to flip upside down. 

I am realizing that I have lots of things to change and to work toward and NOW is the time, not tomorrow or next week.  Each day that goes by is a sad loss of time.  Time is something that can never be taken back or redone.  You have to use right now, right now!!

Onward I go, into the future, making choices and changed in the now.

Finding the Good

I haven't been here for some time.  We have had so many "lasts" with Emma.  Her last volleyball game in high school, her last basketball game in high school, her last prom.  Everything seems so very final this year.  You begin to feel like everything is just slowly slipping away and things will never be the same.

While this is true, God has brought me some new understanding in the month of March.  As I see all of these endings I am so very thankful that we get to have them.   We are finishing a small chapter in our lives and are opening to the next chapter.

March 2017 was by far one of the most difficult times our family has faced in some time.  We were taught again how important it is to love one another, to not take things for granted.  Within 20 days my girls each lost a very dear friend.

First we lost Paige Stroop, 15, one of the sweetest more genuine people I have had the pleasure of knowing in all of my life.  She was injured in a car accident just outside of our home on the HWY that later lead to her passing.  As we were first on the scene, my husband I had the honor or praying with and holding Paige in our arms within minutes after her accident.

As much as our hearts are broken at the loss of such an amazing girl we have also been in awe as we have seen Gods hand clearly in all aspects of this tragedy.

Less than 3 weeks later we lost Sydney Hedges, 17, after a 6 year battle with brain cancer. There is truly no possible way for me to describe the strength, fight, grace, and love that this young lady lived her life.  It has been a true gift to be able to watch Syd and her family over the years as they have lived the life that they were given and have used their lives to bless other.

I know that the heartache has just begun for these two families.  They will spend their lives missing these two very special girls.  I have also seen what love can do and how God has a plan for each life no matter how long or how brief it may be.

I see in the all of the heartache the gift of having loved someone so very much.  It is because of that love that our hearts break into so many pieces, but it also because of that love that we have been gifted with such great joy in the memories we have shared.

In watching these lives lived and lost we are reminded to hold on to each moment.  Live each day to the very fullest.  Enjoy and love those around us.  Most of all... Find the good in every day!